Dear Self from One Year Ago
Hey, you crazy bitch! What’s happenin’? Oh, you’re sleeping all day and crying into your pillow all night? That’s cool. No, I know you’re working, and I know you do things sometimes like watch Golden Girls marathons and go out for sushi. But, girl, all these things that you’re upset about now? It’s nothing, sister, I promise. You’re going to make it through this. You’re going to be ok.
I know it’s hard to believe right now, trust me. I know you feel horrible about yourself, I know you feel completely unlovable and like you’re not in control of your life, and I know you think that you let everybody down and that you’ve disappointed everyone, especially yourself, but you know what? You haven’t. You’re cool. You’re a smart chick, you’ve got a lot of things going for you, and, again, you’re going to be ok.
You’re going to start working more, and you’re going to start fully realizing how awesome your job is and how lucky you are to have it. You’re going to go “hey, I’m getting paid to do something that I’ve loved to do since I learned how to do it. I’m fulfilling a dream that I’ve had for about 15 years.” And that’s pretty damn cool.
You’re going to start working out. I know, I know, “yeah, right, ok,” but really, you are. I know you’ve had a lot of issues with your body and your self esteem, but for real, this is going to make you feel so much better. Like, girl, you’re going to work out so hard that you get sore. From lifting weights. It’s crazy, but it’s true.
You’re going to adopt the most precious little guinea pig that ever was. And I know that you don’t really think of guinea pigs much, but really, you’re going to have the cutest guinea pig, and he is going to be such a little light in your life. He is going to make you smile till your face hurts and warm your heart with his little purrs and squeaks and all those adorable noises. You are going to love him so much that you take pictures of him in bad lighting that you look at about seven times a day.
You are going to meet the most amazing man that you could ever hope to meet and, wait for it, he’s going to be completely in love with you. He’s going to be so funny and sweet and just the most charming thing, and he is going to be so into you. Like, I don’t want you to get cocky or anything, but I just want you to know that you’re finally going to get that wonderful, lovely person, and he loves you to death. He’s going to love you so much that he takes you to see animals and mountains and the planetarium on New Year’s Eve.
He’s going to love you so much that he takes you to see horses.
And he’s going to love you so much that he asks you to marry him. I’m sorry, girl, I don’t have good photos just yet, but just so you know, you say yes. And you’re absolutely thrilled about it.
And, ok, I’m not going to fib and say that there aren’t some shitty parts, because there are. There are a good few shitty parts, and they’re going to make you sad and they’re going to be hard, but the most important thing is that you handle it. You make it through, and I am so proud of you for it.
All right, I know you probably have some episodes of Golden Girls to watch or whatever, so I’m going to wrap it up here. But just remember, no matter what anyone else says, and especially no matter what you say to yourself, you’re a good person. And your going to have a totally kick ass year.
Your Future Self