December 2010
3 posts
“Seriously, you guys, where’s my fucking unicorn? I told you, I’m...”
– Jesus after five glasses of wine at the Christmas party
2 tags
The Top Five Songs I Sing That Make Me Hate Myself
And keep in mind that I sing a lot of songs. Like, a severe amount. If the number of songs I sing a day was the number of fingers you had, you’d be like some incredible mutant who was really popular with the ladies (RE: fingerbanging). While some of these songs are original and potentially groundbreaking and some are well-loved classics, some are worthless and make me want to hit myself,...
4 tags
Dear Super Hot Homeless Guy I Saw On The Street...
I miss you so, so much. My soul aches when I think of what could have been. Had I taken the time to speak to you instead of staring at you in awe, mesmerized by your incomparable beauty, I could have offered you a bath. Perhaps we could have gone into the magic shop and asked the super hot guy who works there if we could use his bathroom for a moment with pure altruistic intentions, and while I...
