Dear Girl from The Movie Theatre
I feel for you. I really, really do, and before anything else, I want you to understand that. But that being said, as I emptied my nervous bladder full of Cherry Coke, the last thing I expected to hear was that your pregnancy test was positive.
You weren’t even gossiping with your friends about your pregnancy, no - I know this because the way I found out, along with all your friends and all the other occupants of the ladies’ room, was by your blood-curdling scream of “shit!” followed by “it’s positive, the test is positive!” As if that left room for any doubt as to what you were doing, I saw you sitting in the stall with that terrifying little test in your hands as I made my way to the sink. I might have offered you a hug or a piece of gum, but I knew you were ok because when your friends asked you what you were going to do, you replied with “I’m gonna just watch the fuckin’ movie and hope everything turns out all right.” And that kind of attitude will get you so far in this unexpected pregnancy.
I don’t know why you took your pregnancy test in the bathroom at the movies, but really, I don’t have to know. All I have to know is that you’re going to be a spectacular, upbeat mom who can really appreciate a good movie. And that knowledge in my heart is enough to overpower all the curiosity I have about your fucked up ways.